Jell-o me...

Adoiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!! have been playing badminton for three days in a row now.. two to three ours each time... and it's taken a toll on my muscles... ouchhhhhhhh!!! I feel like I'm being punched from every direction and my limbs feel like they weigh a tonne each!
*sigh* This is what happens when you can't say no to anything. My Swedish friend, John who stays here called me up quite frequently lately for badminton. Bored, I think. hehehe...
We were joined by my local and Mongolian students. The only perk abt this is losing weight. I still have like 10 kg to go before i reach my ideal weight...

Losing weight : My journey

O.K., here goes.. Initially i didn't want to write about this but due to overwhelming requests (LOL).. i'll share with you about my weighty issue and how I handled it.

Once upon a time, out came this big chubby baby weighing the heaviest at the hospital. She was 12 pounds! And all through childhood till her teenage years, she was never small. She was nicknamed 'dinosaur', 'Doraemon', and 'Godzilla' and 'Big Momma'. And because of the weight, she grew up too fast as everyone regarded her as a 'big girl' because of her size. She didn't get to do many of the things her friends did. She didn't get to play what they played. They were afraid she would crush them or step on their toes. They had told her so. So she sat by the corner and watched wistfully.
Fast forward to her adolescent years in secondary school. When other girls were busying themselves with the dating game and comparing boyfriends, she would fade away in the background as she had no clue what was being discussed. One day, she got fed up with how dull and uneventful her life was and decided to do something about it. She went to the family doctor with her mother and was put on duromine ( a type of appetite suppresant). Within two weeks, she had lost 10 pounds! But the downside was, she was always soaked with sweat and her mouth was always dry and she was always hallucinating. So, she quit the drug and went on a very strict diet and as she liked walking, she did just that. A lot of it.
Then she got into the sixth form in secondary school, pleased with her new self and the newfound confidence. She weighed around 80-ish kilos and started to get attention. She was loving it. She got carried away and forgot to remind herself that each morsel that went into her mouth had to stay somewhere and she took for granted that she could eat normally and not gain weight. How wrong she was.
By the time she got into uni, she was nearly back to the weight when she first started. Depressed, she told herself that she could wriggle herself out of the excess kilos just like she did before. Another mistake.
So this time around, she was more determined than ever to lose weight. She went on a shopping spree and found clothes in her size and she felt good and looked good too, despite the weight. So she continued doing this but bought them in a few sizes smaller. She challenged herself that she would fit into all that she had purchased.
She ate only protein, no carbohydrates. No rice, no bread, no cookies, no ice-cream, no chocolates.. NO SUGAR! No nice anythings! Soon, her weight began to melt away and she was very pleased with herself. She dragged herself out of bed early every morning to work out. That did not last long though as she found it tough to crack those insomnic eyes open in the morning. A morning person she wasn't. So she resorted to making every single thing she did a workout. Like taking the stairs instead of the lift, walking faster with shorter steps, taking longer routes instead of the normal ones...
Sure, she had the occasional cravings and binges but she would punish herself afterwards. Like walking an extra three mile! It was worth it!
There were times she had felt like giving up when she saw how other people could eat all they wanted and stayed so slim. She was envious of her friends who were slim and took that for granted. They had never been fat. But she reckoned if something couldn't kill her, it was going to make her stronger. And it did. So, she fought on.

To say she's won the battle would be a far cry from reality because until today, she is still fighting the battle.

Fat Soleilina

this was meeeeeee... a few years back! LOL! back then i tipped the scale at a hefty 120-something kg! waaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.. pretty eh? something to share with those wanting to shed a few pounds.. if this crazy gal can do it, anyone can!

Aut Viam Inveniam Aut Faciam

If you are wondering what the heck the above means, it's Latin for "Where there's a will, there's a way'. It is actually the motto of St. George's Girls' School, my high school.
Heh! Tonight, the sentimental side of me has got the better of yours truly.. Of all things, am reminiscing about my alma matter. Who would have thought I would be saying or typing this some day?
Was reading some blogs of some unknowns to kill boredom when suddenly one mentioned this place and my thoughts instantly reverberated down the halls and walkways of my dearest secondary school...
I remember when as a kid in primary school (which also happened to be next to St. George's) I would look longingly across the vast green field separating the two schools and dream about getting into the school next door...
Why? Well, for one thing, SGGS has always been touted as the school to go to. We were sieved through according to our UPSR results. Actually, it wasn't so much about the prestige of SGGS that attracted me to that place. It was for some superficial reason. It being the quaint Moorish architecture of the school building complete with a clock tower with Bukit Chendana (or is it Penang Hill?!) in the background. Whatsmore with lush greens tinged with specks of tiny yellow flowers sprawling all over the place. There, at one end of Macalister Road, majestically sits the pride of all Georgians.
I miss hanging out at some of the spots like the walkways and canteen. Oh, and also behind one of the blocks where I used to sit alone whenever I was in one of my melancholic moods. I would sit there for God knows how long and feed the squirrels and pigeons and sometimes even the headmistress' rabbits! Oh yeah, i also miss the canteen food especially the Char Koay Teow this auntie would whip up for us in a jiffy! hehehe...
I found a photo of St. George's from the Net but i don't think it does justice to its poetic existence. But for the time being, I guess this will do until i get some myself. I'll see if I'm free one of these days.. Will go snapping around SGGS once again as afterall, I was the president of the Photography Club at SGGS! I was the one who took all the class photos, ya know... The Editorial Board really saved a lot because of this dotting photographer! *beaming with pride* Too bad, we were not so sophisticated in those days to use digital cameras or else I can show off a bit.. hehehe.. I used my Nikon FM10 with my tripod and some good lenses and filters courtesy of my student's dad who had photo studio. hehehe...
Wait for me, SGGS.. see you soon!!!

Taiwanese pearl milk tea... MMMMmmmmmm....

Mmmmmmm.... am sitting here savouring my favourite drink which is none other than 'pearl milk tea'.. it's Taiwanese and it's really yummy, i tell you! i like sipping on the tea with the little blackish balls (LOL) made from tapioca flour sucked up through the special fat straw! bliss! Those balls (hehehe) are what make this tea special as they are chewy and mildly sweet with a tinge of honey flavour. As for the drinks, it is up to our fancy. They have everything one can think of ranging from coffee, tea to durian flavoured ones! hehehe.. My fav is the red tea with milk.. it's really good!! :)
For those staying in Penang, i would recommend Uncle Jimmy's. I've lost their business card, but will get another one and put their addy here in another post. It's actually very simple to locate this outlet. It's exactly between Sushi King and Pizza Hut at Prangin Mall. try their ice-blends too! i like the kiwi and honeydew ice-blended.. they use real fruit which is kewl! very cheap too!

Sundays are best spent lazing around at home...

Wheeeeeee....

I love my Sundays! Not because everyone else does but because Sunday is just a very liberating day for me.. no work, no hurries to get my shower (hehehe) and i can be in my jammies all day long! LOL.
Wake up at around 11-ish,(sometimes even 2-ish if i try really hard) read the newspapers, eat brunch in front of the TV.. chat to my buddies... and if i'm up early, at 12:30 tune in to Melodi to catch the latest gossip of who's marrying who or rather who's not marrying who.. lol.. bahhh... not like that's the most important thing on earth but i just like to watch their antics and sometimes senseless and even stupid remarks and retorts... the games people play in life!
Neway, to me, Sundays are best spent at home if nothing comes up. Since i started working like a year ago, I treasure my time at home so much... At home, I can be myself, free from the wicked scrutiny of the public eye. I don't have to put up an act, which i think everyone does on a daily basis in life... There is more to life than one that's shrouded in cigarette smoke and drowned in mugs after mugs of coffee at TarSucks! (sounds familiar? thanks Mary Schneider! lol) Just can't stand the thought of sitting around with some mere acquaintance, talking small talks and at the same time trying my best to look all cool and smug! sheeshhh... and spending money to do that! blehhhh... Even worse, some with their funky gadgets trying to outsmart each other and secretly comparing each other's techies and priding themselves with "ooh, mine is more expensive than yours.... mine can do this, mine can do that!.. maybe he/she got that on Flexi-payment!"
And then there's the fashion do's and don't's segment where everyone plays fashion police/victim to each other while pretending to be engaged in what looks like a conversation or while pretending to sip their RM10 coffee/tea. It's true, I tell you,.. women dress for each other!
I just don't get it.. we have tried (and are still trying) so hard in life for the sake of survival.. why try so hard at living life itself?

Am I fat? But then again, who blardy cares?

in case u're wondering why i post a pic of me playing pool and its relevance to the above topic, u'll see what i mean in a minute. That is a pic of me weighing 55 kg! add on 10 kg and it's what i weigh now...





bah... was walking out of my apartment towards the guard post to my students' waiting car when this familiar face greeted me with a "wah.. kenapa gedebab la ni?" (why are u back to being fat?) It was like being splashed with a bucket of 'air longkang' as I was wearing a merry mood in my Sunday (Saturday?) best..
Didn't give a hoot to come up with a clever come-back to that remark, I walked coolly out of the gate, leaving her wondering, agape. In my mind, i said to her "what farking business is it of yours if I weigh 68 kg on a 5 ft 9" frame?" Maybe she has high standards as to what a perfect body should be like.. bah! I thought of walking up to her and give her a full lesson on hyperthyroidism which i used to have and its repercussions. One of them being rapid weight loss and then the eventual weight gain.
For the record, just a few months ago, I was 10 kg underweight and that was 55 kg when my thyroid hormones was at its peak! She saw me when i was underweight and when she sees me now and tells me i'm fat! bahhhhh....
But then again, what's the use of talking to a bimbo? She'll still see me as being fat when everyone who matters to me think i'm alright. I myself think i'm alright. Am not delusional! So what gave her the right to critisize me and my body? I didn't critisize hers though i could if I really wanted to... I'll spare her my thought as I don't think she deserves it.

hmm... what movie to watch?

this is a good read if you want to know abt the local arts and entertainment scene/industry ---->http://afdlinshauki.blogspot.com/

this is what i said in Afdlin's comment box:

hi there,

I have been moved to leave a comment in this box because I think I need to let this little voice inside of me out. Only then would it be called 'speaking up'. I have been a silent reader of your blog and also Christina's, sometimes Patrick's too...

As a Malaysian who frequent the movies, I have to admit I am becoming more analytical and critical (maybe even cynical) of what makes a good reel and what does not. I find that I am slowly gathering my thoughts and views from each poster and advert of a movie to the movie itself that I see to form my own judgment of a good-movie criterion. Whether this is healthy or not, I do not know but I at least I can safely attest that I no longer fall into the silent crowd.

I have not seen Pesona Non Grata yet so I am in no position to judge it good or otherwise. But what draws me to utter, "2 tickets (sometimes more) for $%$%#$%!!, please"? Well, many a time it's the whispers from my pals from behind or recommendation from the counter person, and sometimes it is based on something as trivial (or maybe not) the posters and movie slogans themselves.

I remember thinking to myself on many occasions, "Maybe this is another impossible Malaysian love story!" And how and why is it that the leads always look so impossibly good with perfect make-up (heavy shadings included) and hairdo when they play simple, everyday plain-janes? We do not look so immaculate, you know... I do not want to watch a movie that leaves me feeling disgusted with myself. That is why I go see movies with quirky, different and genuine people on the posters with intelligent and witty shout-outs.

I watch a movie to grow up. But hey, I am a big fan of The Rugrats! For a 25-year-old Malaysian, I still have a lot of growing up to do, yes. I also watch a movie to connect to my thoughts and emotions hence I write this . I think it is time we Malaysian movie people (audience included)be true to ourselves.

When I was still pocketing my weekly allowance courtesy of my parents, I did not give a hoot what movie I went to because if it was not good, then I could go for another one next week. I went to every movie there was at the cinema. But since I have started working (or slogging) for my own dosh, I am beginning to realize the value of every penny. (I also do not give a hoot if that was a cliche!)But now, things have changed and I have my own stand now about what i choose to do or see. I am glad for that fact as I do not conform to things so easily now as I used to and I am slowly finding myself, breaking away from uniformity.

Is it safe to say that a good movie in Malaysia sees a nearly-empty theatre? I remember the movie 'Derailed' i went to and only my pals and I and two other couples filled the whole room! I I gave that movie a NINE over ten!

I am glad you brought this up, Afdlin. About speaking up, that is.

meeeeeeee with a cutie pie!

hehehe... the blog that wasn't meant to be!

i had posted this blog earlier but let's just say it just wasnt meant to be under that name.. so here i am and i hope this time it stays...

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Hi there! Bonjour!

Ewwo... so excited!!! this is my first piece of blog ever! I've been inspired to blog by none other than the ever wonderful ChanLilian :) Thanks a million, sis :) I have pictures in my mind about how PTMM will be and look like.. Just getting the bits and pieces together before i get the ball(s??!) rolling! hehehe...

posted by soleilina at 8:33 AM 2 comments

testing..testing...

hello?